lisa bug (satsumabug) wrote,
lisa bug

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The Chronicle of the Great Meowsky

At our party last week my classmate Danny noticed we don't have a TV, and blurted out, "But what do you guys do?" Well, Danny (who doesn't read this anyway, that I know of), we do things like this.

Let's tell a story, in alternating sentences, for a total of ten sentences!

Our first attempt, about a halibut named Marty, was forgettable, but it introduced a character named The Great Meowsky who we instantly recognized deserved a story of his own.

This is his story.

Our original record:

The transcription:
A little known fact about the catfish called The Great Meowsky is that he once was Vladimir Meowskareinow. Young Vladimir began life as a little fingerling in a catfish pond in Siberia, an ill-advised venture by a Delta farmer transplanted against his will to the East.

Now you would think that such a pond would merely be storage for catfish popsicles. But by some miracle, young Vladimir and his pondmates survived the harsh Siberian winters, bringing the Delta farmer, Ed Jones, few riches but much fame. And by a miracle perhaps even more miraculous, Vladimir discovered the defunct Trans-Siberian oil pipeline and swam to freedom.

After reaching the ocean, he amassed a liberating army of saltwater creatures and brought them back along the pipeline to free his friends and pondmates. As this was a freshwater pond, to this day no one knows what prevented massive death by osmosis. As the liberating army led the Siberian catfish along the pipeline to freedom, catfish separated off in small groups, leaving via tributaries of the great pipeline to start their own FREE colonies in freshwater ponds throughout the icy north.

They sang songs honoring their hero, including "Meow, Meow, Meow for the Great Meowsky," and "His Shortest Whisker Is Longer Than the Longest Ray of the Golden Sun." As for Ed Jones, desperate Siberians came from far and wide to bathe in the miraculous waters of his erstwhile catfish pond, while the Great Meowsky settled down in a happenin' corner of the ocean and took up the jazz trombone.* THE END!

Just try and tell me this is stupider than anything you've seen on television.

*The Great Meowsky was described in Marty the Halibut's story as a "cool cat" of a catfish.
Tags: non sequiturs, pictors

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